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Review by The Ninja Master This movie was the most unoriginal, uninspired, cliche piece of garbage I've seen in years. If you liked this movie, you're either: A. Watching the first movie of your life, and easily amused B. A crybaby loser C. A douchebag Reasons For Slaughter: Some of you might be familiar with the book this movie is based on. You are buffoons (yes, I used that word. You probably can't actually read, anyway, so why waste a good insult on you?) The book was written by a kid. Seriously, I'm not joking, the writer of the book was 16, or 6, or something like that. He clearly had no literary talent at all, and just ripped off every single story he could think of. At least, that's what the movie does. The plot is so crappy you could guess it from the first couple minutes. The acting is terrible, filled with a bunch of whiny kids that need to be tossed off a mountain. The special effects and cinematography are BARELY equal to a made for television movie, and that's saying something. Something bad. Eragon could maybe appeal to ignorant adolescent boys with no concept of what a film should be like. For anyone else, including kids who don't begin sentences with "gaga," please do yourself a favor and NEVER, EVER see this movie. Watching this movie is one of the major regrets of my life. Let's move on to... If The Ninja Master Made This Movie: The main character dies straight off, in the first scene. He's an annoying crybaby and gets a face full of sword. The dragon shows up, but this time it's not some nice little pet with a fondness for young boys. This time it's a monster, and it's pissed at everyone for no reason. It eats the entire cast, then bashes it's own head in with a rock, too embarassed at being part of Eragon to live with itself. The End. |
           
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