Death Proof

Review by The Ninja Master

THINGS THIS MOVIE CONTAINED: Kurt Russell, car crashes, a severed leg

THINGS THIS MOVIE DID NOT CONTAIN:  Ron Jeremy, monkey sadomasochists, Alvin and the Chipmunks. Untrue Fact: This movie was filmed on location in outer space.

The Review: Grindhouse was a double feature, with the first half being a film called "Planet Terror," and the second a Tarrantino film called Death Proof. Since the two are unrelated movies, I'm going to review them separately.

Kurt Russell plays an aging ex-stuntman who gets his kicks by murdering young women with his "death proof" stunt car. It's a Tarrantino flick, so you should expect lots of dialogue. Kurt Russell doesn't usually get to be the bad guy, and it was fun to watch him in this. There is a whole lot of talking before anything happens, but when the shit goes down, it's pretty hardcore.

I don't want to give away any of the plot, but there are some intense scenes later in the movie. If you can make it through all the talking, you'll find yourself rewarded. But that's the problem. There is a LOT of talking. I can't stress that enough. It isn't what you'd call exciting dialogue either. The group of women the story focuses on just don't have much to talk about, and when they aren't fighting Kurt Russell or getting killed, the movie really drags.

The car scenes are fantastic and brutal, and it's definitely got style. Quentin always delivers an interesting movie, but it's not one I'd watch a second time. As fun as the action sequences are, for me they were outweighed by the excessive talking. Part of the problem is that this is the second half of the double feature, so you're going on 3 hours by the time it finishes. After Planet Terror, which is an action packed blast of zombie death, switching to slow dialogue is really tough on the viewer. Maybe when you see the film by itself, it'll be different.

Complaints:  Kurt spent a little too much time not killing, and not enough time killing. His car should have been possesed by an evil demon with a crush on KIT from Knight Rider. That way, the film could climax with Kurt's Demon Car mating with KIT while Kurt Russell fights David Hasselhoff to the death. THAT'S intense.

On a side note: The Ninja Master is also known to be death proof. He actually beat Death at a game of Darts in a bar once.

Ninjasaurus Rex:

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