The Ninja Master VS The Walrus
Let me just start by saying this is a true story. I have been accused multiple times of "lying like a filthy bastard," but I was of course accusing myself (who else would dare) and naturally I don't believe the accusations since they came from some filthy lying bastard.
So I was walking down the street last night, and I see all these kids playing tag. So I'm thinking "how did they escape from their cages, I better start kicking ass before they grow up to be douchebags." Now I'm in the middle of punching this 7 year old in the face right, and suddenly a giant walrus falls straight out of the sky and lands in a lake that I had not previously noticed. BAM a giant fish jumps out and it's wearing an eye patch with a wooden fin.
About this time I was thinking, no way where did he get that wooden fin and what the hell is the point of having one? So I'm kinda jealous already, and then he pulls out a gun and starts ordering me to hand over my tuna. Well needless to say, I was getting ready to jump kick him when the Walrus flies out of the water, devours 12,000 ducks, and gives me the evil eye. Now that's just plain rude. I bitch slap the talking fish, disappear, and reappear 10 minutes earlier. Yes, I can do that.
I drink up the lake right before the giant walrus falls down. He lands on the talking fish and BAM everyone dies. The kids are standing around like OH MY GOD but I remedy the situation with a few quick Ninja Fists to the abdomen. I punt the last 7 year old clear across the Universe, and he lands on a murderous space alien (with guns for fingers, swords for eyes, and heroin needles for blood) living in the little known galaxy of The Ninja Master Kicks Ass.
True story. The End.
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