Live Free or Die Hard (AKA Die Hard 4.0)

Review by Ava Cadabra

THINGS THIS MOVIE CONTAINED:  “Yippee Ki Yay Mot..," Technological Terrorism, Nation-wide panic, Kevin Smith as a fanboy computer wiz.

THINGS THIS MOVIE DID NOT CONTAIN:  Professor Snape, Family Matters’ Carl Winslow, Samuel L. Mothafuckin' Jackson (all are missed dearly), a sale at Popeye’s Chicken.

The Review:  Known as Live Free or Die Hard only to the U.S. and as Die Hard 4.0 to the rest of the world, this fourth installment of the series marks the return of working-class hero and all around badass John McClane. A scheme to hack and manipulate the technological structure of the United States creates mass terror and pandemonium throughout the nation. Teamed up with a hacker (Justin Long) with loose connections to the threatening plot, McClane must bring down the conspirators with his own brand of whoop-ass.

The last Die Hard film was released in 1995, but that doesn’t stop Bruce Willis from rocking the shit as he resumes his iconic role. John McClane isn’t Superman. And thank goodness for that. Superman wouldn’t laugh or sneer as he rightfully beat down his enemies; John McClane does. McClane is one of us, but with an exceptional ability to constantly survive dangerous entanglements. I enjoyed the fight between Willis and Maggie Q’s character in particular.

The action sequences feature mass explosions and car collisions that would put a grin on Michael Bay’s face. Granted, some of the instances are ridiculously unrealistic and over the top, but that’s the fun of cinema. After the events of 9/11, the feelings of nationwide terror in the film hit close to home, causing the viewer to question if our dependency on computers could actually become our Achilles heel. Timothy Olyphant wasn’t quite threatening enough as the main villain, in both presence and performance. This film needed a stronger villain - someone who embodies “fucking crazy." I’m sure there tons of actors that could fit the bill.

Live Free or Die Hard is good fun, but ultimately just another decent action movie. It’s nowhere near a stand-out or a classic, but at least it wasn’t another case of Spider-Man 3.

Complaints:  There wasn’t really anything about the film that stuck out or made an impression, making it destined to be forgettable.

On a side note: If John McClane were a wizard, he’d be into some dark magic. He’d be conjuring hexes like you wouldn’t believe. And it would be awesome. I’d still win in a duel, however.

Ninjasaurus Rex:

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