Review by The Ninja Master

About time a decent monster movie came out, this one has been building itself up with secrecy.

THINGS THIS MOVIE CONTAINED: A giant monster, smaller little monsters, something extra after the credits

THINGS THIS MOVIE DID NOT CONTAIN:  Cthulhu, David Bowie, a ruthless Rhubarb Pie out for blood and vengeance

The Review: I've been waiting for this one, but I had my doubts. All the secrecy behind it, never showing us what the monster looks like in the trailers, it was starting to annoy me. But you have to give it to them, they built up the hype just like they wanted. Everyone was spreading wild rumors about the plot and speculating on what the heck was going on. Well now it's here, and it lived up to expectations.

The whole movie is shot handy-cam style, like Blair Witch. Don't sit in the front if you're watching it in the theatre, it'll be way too much to handle. Some people are throwing a going away party for the main character when a disaster hits. Turns out to be a gigantic monster tearing through Manhattan, dropping smaller monsters off it's body. Sounds good so far, a movie can never have too many monsters wreaking havoc. That's all the plot I'm giving you.

The monster is pretty sweet looking, although admittedly you don't see it all that much because of the filming style. No, it's not Cthulhu, if you've heard that rumor. That would have been way too much awesome. The smaller monsters look a bit like spiders mixed with aliens. The movie doesn't seem to answer a lot of questions, but through careful watching and outside sources you can piece it all together. The Cloverfield website has some extra videos for you to watch, and there's a little clue after the credits roll. Don't look into this stuff until after you see it though, wouldn't want to spoil anything.

Complaints: They could have ended it on a much better note, shown more of the monster, and put freaking Cthulhu in the movie. The monster, although cool, wasn't exactly original or groundbreaking in appearance. The filming style could also get a bit annoying.

On a side note: The Ninja Master actually woke up the Cloverfield monster with an uppercut to the face. In a deleted scene, The Ninja Master drop kicks the Cloverfield beastie halfway across the universe into a black hole.

Ninjasaurus Rex:




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