Balls of Fury

Review by The Ninja Master

Aww. This movie wasn't as good as I'd hoped, but it still had it's moments.

THINGS THIS MOVIE CONTAINED:  Christopher freakin Walken, intense ping pong battles, a guy being punched in the balls

THINGS THIS MOVIE DID NOT CONTAIN:  Frosted Mini Wheats, Hello Kitty, Trevor the Goose Cannibal. Untrue Fact: Ninjas in the 3rd century used exploding Ping Pong balls to destroy their enemies (everyone).

The Review:  I wanted this movie to be amazing, and not just because of Christopher Walken. It makes fun of the old kung fu movie cliches, and I've seen ALL the old kung fu movies. Not only that, but it looked hilarious in the previews. Some ex Ping Pong champ is going under cover and penetrating the seedy underbelly of the Ping Pong world. He's also seeking revenge on Walken, who murdered his father. Christopher Walken seemed underutilized to me, although he was awesome as always when the camera was on him. A lot of people won't get the jokes if they don't know the movies being made fun of, but even if you do, they usually aren't that great.

There are some major exceptions. James Hong is absolutely hilarious and saves the movie, playing the blind old Master Wong. The funniest scene in the movie involves him going off on a tangent about a cheap old prostitute. This guy is seriously funny. Without him the movie would collapse into snooze-land.

If you know your old martial arts movies, you'll find yourself snickering here and there, but not rolling around laughing. Strangely though, I had fun watching this movie. Part of it was James Hong, part Christopher Walken, and part of it was the fun atmosphere of the movie. It wasn't the funniest film ever, but it was silly and entertaining enough. Especially for those of us that get all the references. Although it sounded like I was bashing it, I'm still glad I watched it.

Complaints: This movie is like a fine, well-aged prostitute. It takes years to learn all her tricks. She is cruel, she laughs at you when you are naked. But still, you keep coming back, because she is the only one that you can afford.

On a side note: The Ninja Master once played Ping Pong. With swords for paddles. He won when his opponent had to forfeit, due to being chopped in half.

Ninjasaurus Rex:

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